I decided that my personal yoga practice today would go a little differently. I think striking a balance between inner and outer peace is necessary to stay rooted, and I feel that the effort I put towards that is genuine. However, as I was looking out at all the beautiful scenery, I couldn't help but wonder if I was being truly present in my practice. I think it's absolutely fine to admire and appreciate the beauty that surrounds us, but sometimes even peaceful settings such as the one I see from our yoga studio window can be distracting. I wanted to experiment with how NOT using my vision would affect my yoga practice. Determined to really get into what gift this could give to me, my practice consisted of moving through most of it with my eyes closed.
Sitting in meditation with the eyes closed can offer some insight, but I wanted to sincerely open up to the opportunity of what this experience could bestow. As I moved through the warm up portion, I felt calm, then it was time to come to my feet and begin Surya Namaskar. This was different, with even Tadasana feeling a little like a stranger. Initially, I almost felt as if I were grasping at the posture, which was not a comforting feeling. As I stood, with my eyes closed, I realized that this was because I was so used to finding a tangible drishti for my focus. If I were to be able to continue this experiment, I needed to release the grip of the comfortable and find something less tangible.
This is where I brought my awareness back to my breath. Ahhh, this feels better, less scary. Connecting my movements with my breath as I began flowing through Surya Namaskar, I found a rhythm through my breath. It was then that I noticed a deeper connection to my movements that I had not ever noticed before. Not relying on visual alone gave me a new sense of where my body was through each posture. It was as if I was encountering all of these postures for the very first time.
Continuing through my practice, I arrived at the time for standing postures. As I shifted into Vrksasana, I felt everything in my body struggling. Coming back to my breath helped, but with standing in one pose, not moving and balancing on one leg, it quickly registered that something else needed to happen here if I was going to stay there, and not end up on the floor. My internal dialogue went a little like this: "okay, I've got this, take a breath, start out in the lowest foot position... still wobbly, what is happening?... alright, what would I do if my eyes were open?... oh, right, I would find my drishti, probably looking at the beautiful green trees... okay, let go of the green trees and focus on what will provide centering at this moment... right, sorry... drishti, drishti, where is my drishti?... I know, not only let go of the green trees, let go of all other outer sensory grabbing energies... here we go, deep breath, shift back into Vrksasana, now focus the closed eyes to the center, third eye area. Oh...my...goodness, there it is!... oops, little wobbly, got too excited for a moment.... there it is again, breathe, stay, this is nice".
I moved through my remaining practice much in this same way, having this internal dialogue as I shifted into each new posture. I'm not saying that my practice looked pretty, but it felt beautiful. As I kept finding an inner drishti, it allowed more awareness to the postures. Yes, I could feel every muscle quiver as I stayed for several breaths, but it was actually liberating. Not to say I will be doing every practice with my eyes closed, however, it brought a new sense of body and mind awareness. I will definitely revisit this practice in the future as it gave a fresh sense of grounding, while leaving a piece of harmony in my soul.
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