Sometimes I am completely overwhelmed with all of the areas I have to be concerned with throughout my life. I mean, physical health, emotional health, mental health, and spiritual health. Geesh! And if that isn't enough, then I have to worry about offending someone if my way isn't their way, I find this particularly true in the spiritual health arena. Then there are moments where I may have been living one way, decide to re-adjust that, and choose another way instead. Stop the presses when that happens, those that were on "your side" in one set of views will throw you to the wolves if you decide to change.
Again, here come my questions. Why? For example, why care if I was raised Catholic, then followed Buddhism, then Wicca, but still reference the bibles teachings?
Wait, pause, let's rewind. I was raised Catholic since infancy, baptized in the Catholic church, went to private catholic schools my entire life (up until college that is, then I opted for public education), continuing - married in the Catholic church, all our children also baptized Catholic, went to service every single Sunday, and on all those special holidays, even once married we hulled the kiddos with us each weekend. This continued well into my 30's. Then, for some reason, I get an epiphany. Somehow, I get a glimpse of something else, another way of thinking. I start observing my own life, and those around me. I see how we all go to church each weekend, but then live abhorrently throughout the week, as if that one day in church magically removes all the bad behavoir the other six days?! Uh oh, I feel walls being built, anger building, resentment towards the church, and those who played the part only one day a week. No more uttering the word God, or Angels, I opted for a more general term - Universe. Oh my stars, I don't know what I believe anymore!
So, I started exploring Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism. Whoa! This is different, but has some familiar grounds. Like, we should treat each other with respect, dispense more love and compassion, realize there is something greater than ourselves, etc. Huh! There are other beliefs that may align with how I feel. Then walks in this Wicca thing. What?! I thought all that was devil, and evilness, we better not talk about this in public or people will think we're Satan worshippers. Oh, Wicca is about using nature to heal? What the ---, but I was sure I was taught to fear other ways. Here we go again, why? Why twist things into something they're not? Why does it matter if I want to use essential oils, like the ancient "witches", to heal myself and my family? Doesn't everything essentially come back to having origins from nature? I mean, where does everything we eat, drink, wear, etc. come from - thin air? I don't understand....
See, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts. How can I process all of this, and what the hell do I put on those damn papers as to what my religious belief is? Goodness gracious, the pressure! I decided that I would continue learning, in all areas, trying to keep an open mind and heart, particularly if it was something unfamiliar.
What I now understand is that I don't have to box myself into one way of anything. I now see that I don't have to try to please everyone, and at times I will certainly disappoint some, myself included. However, I no longer have to fear what others may think, that's their own process. Oh, and about that... I get it, process really equals journey. Our journey in this life is never-ending and I'm okay with that because it means I'm still here! And, as long as I am here, I'll keep exploring, learning, and hopefully positively growing. As I journey you can be darn sure that I will share what I'm learning, because that's how it works - we share, sharing = opening the door for others who may not have known that door existed, or who were too fearful to try and open it. Sharing doesn't mean you have to follow what I do, just as I don't have to follow what you share or do, but it means putting down the walls we build around our safe little worlds, and truly opening ourselves to new possibilities of growth.
It was through my own shift that I was able to release those walls, anger and resentment towards others that I felt weren't "living the talk". All those walls, anger and resentment did was cause me to act like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, and I was taking it out on God and the Angels, when I was really angered by the people around me, and with myself. I went years without saying those two very important words - God and Angels. Thankfully, through my determination to continue learning, I crossed paths with information about Anthony William (Medical Medium). With an open mind and heart I ordered his first book, more curious than anything to see what he was about. I mean, he's only trying to offer positive things, so what do I have to lose? Wow! I was blown away, and since I already recognized how healing or harmful foods can be, I knew there was something to this Anthony William. At first some things felt uncomfortable, like talking to specific Angels, you know those walls can feel deceivingly comfortable at times. The thing is, the more I did it, the more it just felt right. Not trying to sound cliche, but there was this warmth, like a hug. I am truly grateful for Antony's sharing, but for me it's not just about the words that Anthony, or anyone for that matter, say. It's more about how things make me feel, and I mean how I feel on every level - physically, mentally, emotionally, and definitely spiritually.
I completely get it now, that spirituality doesn't have to be linked to any one religion, or any religion at all. I know this because words don't define spirituality, it's something that has to be experienced, and that has to happen within, and it's a unique occurrence for everyone. Spirituality belongs to each and every one of us, how we go about it doesn't need to be the focus. I also have grown to see that spirituality can be linked to everything, from the foods we eat to the thoughts we think, therefore affecting our physical, mental, and emotional journey as well. Through this past decade of my life it has become clear that my learning will never stop. I will continue to grow, shift, and change. I may not believe in what you believe or follow, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends, or that we can't learn from each other, or that we can't respect and love one another.
So, the real question now is - what will I mark on papers that ask for religious preference? I guess it would have to be ALL, because there are bits from each that have taught me valuable lessons.
