Recently, my oldest daughter and I were discussing how, through experiences and interactions with others, we all react to situations and people differently depending on our perception of the situation. It is because of this belief that I am able to appreciate each moment, experience and interaction, even the not so positive ones.
In being honest with myself, each time that I hit a road block or was frustrated, I got to the point where I stopped blaming myself or others and allowed for time to just sit with the thoughts. Asking myself serious question anytime negativity, despair or anger would arise has been the most therapeutic tool to healing and continuing on my journey. At times my despair or anger would stem from a reaction to a food that was supposed to be healthy or from a person who questioned how and why my family and I live the way we do. After my blood pressure calmed, I realized how silly a reaction that was and then began to dig deeper into what was really bothering me. The answers to my questions are not always easily answered. Often, it takes weeks or months for me to realize the answer, and sometimes, I find it in the most unlikely of places. However, in allowing myself time, instead of reacting, it has taught me that the way I perceive something is not always the way others perceive it or intended it.
For instance, take a text message or email. The tone someone writes with is not necessarily looked at the same by the receiver. Many times, it is the difference in perception that ignites serious conflict (in ourselves and others). Responding immediately to comments that are not made with the best of intentions has also led to avoidable issues. With this in mind, I am now able to press the pause button, take a breath and assess the situation. This is where I start the internal dialog of questioning as to why I am feeling the way I do. Is the person truly intending ill will, or is it that they are curious, have a different perspective altogether, or maybe they are just having a bad day and needed to lash out?
Whatever the reason, when and if I decide to respond, it will be from a more peaceful place. This in turn generally elicits calm in myself and the other person. Once in awhile the total opposite occurs. If that happens, the conversation is done because I have also learned that some people just are not ready to reflect themselves. Sometimes in staying calm it stirs up feelings that create a negative perception for them. Ultimately this has nothing to do with me, rather, it is due to unresolved matter from their past or present. This too has been extremely therapeutic because in the past I would have taken blame or have been made to feel smaller by their reaction. Now, I can actually feel compassion for their pain that is producing their response. Opening my heart and mind to this form of thinking has been healing for me and it allows me to send healing thoughts and energy to them. They do not need to know that I am doing that, just the fact that I am creates even more positivity within myself.
Through my growth, I now realize that I need to take in each moment and interaction as a lesson. It is in this that my journey has blossomed. I know I have much more to learn, but now I am ready to receive and I look forward with opportunities instead of glancing over my shoulder with fear.
